Theological ~ Catholic Receptivity

In revering the Virgin Mary, we speak of her perfect receptivity of divine grace.

The longer I live, the more I understand receptivity to be the foundation of all growth in the spiritual life.

I now understand from experience that unless I receive the grace of God and He thereby capacitates my heart to love, it is impossible for me to do so. I can summon my will power and intelligence to do good things, but I won't be able to do them purely and simply, from the heart, unless God gives me the grace to. In a mysterious way, the good I do will only feed my pride, until and unless God frees my heart to sincerely care about and commune with Himself and others.

Until God frees up the heart to love, life feels inexplicably isolated and disconnected. Everything I do redounds to myself. The good I do makes me more pleased with myself. The good I do makes me feel superior to others, or "further along" in the quest of life. The good I do makes me more expectant of greater goods that I may do; I fall ever more in love with myself and my expectations for my future hold me captive. I am unable, in a sustained way, to take interest in other people and their gifts. Instead, I find myself competing with them. I may indeed help others--it makes me feel good about myself to do so--but the task will be irritating and burdensome.

Although I may be able to achieve worthwhile things by sheer will power, in reality I am dying a slow death. Cut off from true communion with God and neighbor, my soul becomes warped and sickly. On the outside, I may be impressive, but on the inside I am burdened and wasting away.

From experience, I have learned that only the grace of God can cure the disease of pride. I can work, and try, and discipline myself, force a smile, force myself to be helpful, try to be humble, etc. to no avail. Until the grace of God heals me of my pride, pride will always lead out and consume everything I do for its own ends. In the absence of grace, pride can only grow through either deliberate sin or "good works" done by my own natural efforts. As a result, I am trapped in a cycle of ever increasing, inescapable pride. Only grace and patient suffering can starve out the monster.

The tragic thing is that pride deprives us of real joy by destroying our relationships with God and neighbor. These relationships are the source of our spiritual life and joy. The nature of pride is to isolate us, "incurvates in se," (turned in on oneself). Turned in on ourselves, the very purpose of our existence, to love and be loved, is thwarted. It would be happier to not exist at all.

Catholicism allows us to experience the depths of receptivity. It teaches that God Himself lived among us, taught us the truth about Himself, and safeguarded those truths for all successive generations in holy Mother Church. We can truly be children, with God providing us with everything we need for salvation, every step of the way. We do not have to search the scriptures and create our our own church. We do not have to guess at communion with a distant power manifest by nature. Our God is personal, draws us unto Himself, and into a Church that cares for us from Baptism to Last Rights. Our salvation is given totally to us; we have only to receive it.