The following describes a cycle that perhaps others have also experienced:
1) At first, life seems (more or less) good and predictable. You love things because you think they are good. You have hopes and make plans.
2) Trials shake this up. They challenge you to search for God and incentivize conversion. They challenge you to love God above all things and order your lesser loves to your greatest love for God.
3) Now, with a new relationship with God, you must return to creation and reconnect with it on new terms. You must learn to love the imperfect, have patience with the process, and stay engaged even when part of you is heartbroken and longs for Heaven. You must make peace with the scars that God permitted for your repentance. You have to allow God to rebuild you. You must learn to approach creation with a Godly, wise love.
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