On the one hand, as Catholics we have sensual art, smells and bells, provocative Gregorian chant, etc. On the other, we are the faith tradition that produced the intellectualism of the scholastics.
In a unique way, our faith preserves the right relationship between:
1) A transcendent God who surpasses our understanding, and is the object of our desires
2) A transcendent God who created our human reasoning as a participation in His own, such that we can be both mystical and "logical" at the same time.
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Theological ~ The Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit
Have struggled previously to make distinctions, but I think I'm starting to grasp it after digesting various lists and explanations. Summarized in my own words:
1) Wisdom: the ability to see reality from God's perspective, to the point of embracing the cross. St. Paul reminds us that Christianity's defining message is Christ crucified. When we are wise in a distinctively Christian sense, our capacity to trust and love God is so great that we become willing to endure for His sake what is most repugnant to us (suffering).
2) Understanding: intellectually probing the mysteries of the faith. There are many mysteries of the faith (the Incarnation, salvation, Providence, free will, the liturgy/sacraments, Mary, etc.) Our ability to probe these mysteries will improve our discipleship and participation in the fullness of reality. From my own experience, understanding requires us to enter into the distinctively Catholic "both and" (verses either/or) way of thinking. We uphold that Christ is both fully human and fully man. We uphold that man has free will and God is omnipotent, etc. We learn to respect a mystery that lies within certain parameters, instead of expecting easy definitions.
3) Knowledge: our ability to see God in creation and use creation rightly. This is a sacramental world view, where everything in creation is a sacrament or "sign" of God in some way. How is it that my job, my family life, my friendships, my hobbies, etc. point to God. How can I relate to these things rightly so that I honor God through them? Knowledge points to the integrated Catholic perspective on reality. Strictly speaking, we don't divide up the world into the sacred and profane. Everything is sacred when done unto the Lord. In this way, everything can be a prayer and we can pray always. Daily life is becomes our ordinary place of encounter with God.
4) Fortitude: strength and courage in persevering in the faith. This one has always been straightforward to me.
5) Counsel: help in making good decisions, large and small. The longer I live, I understand how challenging it is to make a good decision. Usually, the right answer requires a wise balancing of goods. It is comforting to know that one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is help with doing this.
6) Piety: a strong filial sense in our relationship with God and neighbor. God and neighbor are not abstract concepts. We perceive ourselves as one divine family.
7) Fear of the Lord: a sense of awe and reverence for God. Respect for what is holy and a healthy aversion to sin.
1) Wisdom: the ability to see reality from God's perspective, to the point of embracing the cross. St. Paul reminds us that Christianity's defining message is Christ crucified. When we are wise in a distinctively Christian sense, our capacity to trust and love God is so great that we become willing to endure for His sake what is most repugnant to us (suffering).
2) Understanding: intellectually probing the mysteries of the faith. There are many mysteries of the faith (the Incarnation, salvation, Providence, free will, the liturgy/sacraments, Mary, etc.) Our ability to probe these mysteries will improve our discipleship and participation in the fullness of reality. From my own experience, understanding requires us to enter into the distinctively Catholic "both and" (verses either/or) way of thinking. We uphold that Christ is both fully human and fully man. We uphold that man has free will and God is omnipotent, etc. We learn to respect a mystery that lies within certain parameters, instead of expecting easy definitions.
3) Knowledge: our ability to see God in creation and use creation rightly. This is a sacramental world view, where everything in creation is a sacrament or "sign" of God in some way. How is it that my job, my family life, my friendships, my hobbies, etc. point to God. How can I relate to these things rightly so that I honor God through them? Knowledge points to the integrated Catholic perspective on reality. Strictly speaking, we don't divide up the world into the sacred and profane. Everything is sacred when done unto the Lord. In this way, everything can be a prayer and we can pray always. Daily life is becomes our ordinary place of encounter with God.
4) Fortitude: strength and courage in persevering in the faith. This one has always been straightforward to me.
5) Counsel: help in making good decisions, large and small. The longer I live, I understand how challenging it is to make a good decision. Usually, the right answer requires a wise balancing of goods. It is comforting to know that one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is help with doing this.
6) Piety: a strong filial sense in our relationship with God and neighbor. God and neighbor are not abstract concepts. We perceive ourselves as one divine family.
7) Fear of the Lord: a sense of awe and reverence for God. Respect for what is holy and a healthy aversion to sin.
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Theological ~ Mysteries
Catholicism encourages us to respect what is mysterious. We speak of the mystery the Trinity, the mystery of the cross, the mystery of the liturgy and sacraments, the mystery of the Eucharist, the mystery of Mary as Mother of God, the mystery of the Incarnation, the mystery of the Mystical Body of Christ, the mystery of salvation, the mystery of damnation, the mystery of God's Providence, the mystery of free will, the mystery of election, etc.
These mysteries are indeed hard to think about, and in certain cases require a trust in God that feels radical and even uncomfortable. For that reason, various heresies over the years have emerged to quash these mysteries and propose concrete, digestible "answers." At first, these "answers" seem to "solve" the problem; yet, with time, heresy always creates new problems and suffering.
The answer instead is to accept the boundaries the Church has placed around each mystery, and then reason and imagine within them. In doing so, the Church's understanding of various mysteries has progressed and deepened. At the same time, such a process protects what is sacred, transcendent, and ineffable to the human mind. In our humility, we must accept that there are some things we can never fully comprehend this side of heaven.
An example is to respect that the Church teaches both that God is all powerful, and that man has free will. Any idea of God's Providence that denies one or the other goes too far.
Apart from protecting what is sacred, this approach also teaches us an important lesson: we don't have to "know" everything to become saints. It's okay to say "that's above me." Total knowledge is not required for sainthood. We learn to trust God with the graces and understanding we do have. We give up the impossible and exhausting quest of trying to "know" everything. This frees us up so that we can start living and doing.
These mysteries are indeed hard to think about, and in certain cases require a trust in God that feels radical and even uncomfortable. For that reason, various heresies over the years have emerged to quash these mysteries and propose concrete, digestible "answers." At first, these "answers" seem to "solve" the problem; yet, with time, heresy always creates new problems and suffering.
The answer instead is to accept the boundaries the Church has placed around each mystery, and then reason and imagine within them. In doing so, the Church's understanding of various mysteries has progressed and deepened. At the same time, such a process protects what is sacred, transcendent, and ineffable to the human mind. In our humility, we must accept that there are some things we can never fully comprehend this side of heaven.
An example is to respect that the Church teaches both that God is all powerful, and that man has free will. Any idea of God's Providence that denies one or the other goes too far.
Apart from protecting what is sacred, this approach also teaches us an important lesson: we don't have to "know" everything to become saints. It's okay to say "that's above me." Total knowledge is not required for sainthood. We learn to trust God with the graces and understanding we do have. We give up the impossible and exhausting quest of trying to "know" everything. This frees us up so that we can start living and doing.
Saturday, July 27, 2019
Meditation ~ Thoughts from a city square
The Young: fresh, enthusiastic, promising
The Mature: experienced
The very young, the very old: human frailty
What is Beautiful: God's perfections
The Mature: experienced
The very young, the very old: human frailty
What is Beautiful: God's perfections
Everyone walking around: community, solidarity
The Poor: what we all are before God
Families: intimate, steadfast love
Singles: the possible, the transcendent
Race and Ethnicity: God's inexhaustible beauty
Male: God's power
Woman: God's mercy
The Poor: what we all are before God
Families: intimate, steadfast love
Singles: the possible, the transcendent
Race and Ethnicity: God's inexhaustible beauty
Male: God's power
Woman: God's mercy
Meditation ~ A Definition of Intelligence?
An active intellect gathers the data of life and seeks to harmonize it, without compromise.
Meditation ~ The Existential Chasm
The basic choice: does it make sense, or does it not make sense?
Faith comes first.
I argue that mental illness, insecurities, fears, and depression are rooted in our failure to decide positively in this matter. Too often, we choose faith in some matters and not others. We move forward in some ways, and backwards in others. It can be a blessing when we are brought in a striking way to the existential chasm, and realize that in fact, a choice must be made.
Either there is order, purpose, meaning....God.
Or there isn't....
Faith comes first.
I argue that mental illness, insecurities, fears, and depression are rooted in our failure to decide positively in this matter. Too often, we choose faith in some matters and not others. We move forward in some ways, and backwards in others. It can be a blessing when we are brought in a striking way to the existential chasm, and realize that in fact, a choice must be made.
Either there is order, purpose, meaning....God.
Or there isn't....
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Theological ~ Carmelite Tendencies
I've become increasingly aware of having what I understand to be a "Carmelite" spirituality:
1) An intense desire to experience God
2) An "all-or-nothing" spirituality; an intense desire to put everything on the altar for God, and consciously understand everything in my life as a path to God
3) A romantic personality, that strongly seeks a beloved, and union with the beloved
4) Intense interior life
5) Time spent in the deserts of life so that my soul can focus on God alone
6) Interior spiritual steel, forged out of "Dark Nights"
7) A constant, transcendent awareness. An otherworldly way of being.
8) An intense encounter with God in the interior of my heart, whereas in other spiritualities the encounter may be elsewhere, e.g. in nature and simple living (Franciscan), in exploration and the adventure (Jesuit), in intellectual truth and philosophy (Dominican).
9) A focus on my spousal relationship with God; deeply pondering Jesus as Bridegroom
10) The feeling of traversing whole continents without ever "going" anywhere; intensely moved by life as it is
10) The feeling of traversing whole continents without ever "going" anywhere; intensely moved by life as it is
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Poem ~ Knit Hearts
Knowing You, Holy Trinity
Needing You and others
Inspired by Your presence
Taking time to be with You, with others
Hungering for You above all things
Enjoying how You bring us all together
Adoring You as one people
Rejoicing in Zion
Transformed by Your Spirit
Sanctified and made pure in heart
Needing You and others
Inspired by Your presence
Taking time to be with You, with others
Hungering for You above all things
Enjoying how You bring us all together
Adoring You as one people
Rejoicing in Zion
Transformed by Your Spirit
Sanctified and made pure in heart
Meditation ~ Deep Healing
I would describe myself as someone who has, in my own way, strongly pursued my desires. As St. Augustine says, "our hearts are restless until they rest in you, Lord." As any convert can attest, I have found that to be true. However, I have found it to be true at an ever deepening level of my being as time has gone on. Some of those desires, many of which are interrelated:
1) The need to know that all things rest in the hands of a loving God
2) The need to know that suffering is meaningful
3) The need to know that life isn't random, but purposeful
4) The need to know that my life has a transcendent purpose
5) The need to "hand over the reins" to a competent higher power who can bring something good out of my weaknesses, sins, mistakes, and make up for all of the things I can't understand
6) Deep inner healing that capacitates me to truly care about others as much as myself
7) The regeneration of my desires, such that I can truly love what is good
8) Instruction that "puts it all together" so that I can understand how to harmonize seemingly contradictory goods (e.g. the goodness of both justice and mercy, physical pleasures and self-denial, healthy cultivating of the ego, the proper time and place for everything)
9) A new perspective that gives me joy in participating, instead of dominating and ascending
10) A spiritual renewal that helps me to enjoy life exactly as it is, given the inescapable realities of work, aging, and patiently enduring my own sinfulness and the sins of others
11) Deep communion with the transcendent, the "something" that is bigger than what I can articulate, but which I long for
12) Peace with the passage of time, so that I don't fear aging and death, but rather welcome the process of life
13) The ability to know myself and my purpose, which is hidden in God's Will. A sense of "vocation" and how I fit into the Body of Christ, so that I can objectively assess and cultivate my gifts, without competing with others.
14) A conscious answer to the question of what the purpose of life is, which encompasses the bewildering variety of goods that I see. A definition of ultimate good that is not reductive.
15) Help identifying and taming the vices that lurk deep within me, beneath the level of conscious drives
16) Freedom from needing things to be a certain way for me to be happy or content, or to believe that my life has value
17) By the grace of God, the healing of my various family relationships: immediate, extended, parochial, neighborhood, patriotic, universal brotherhood of man, participation in the Body of Christ
18) Healing my relationship with my body. Harmonizing the peculiarity of being spiritual and physical.
19) Healing my sense of "reality" and what it is: e.g. not living in my head only. Understanding that physical, concrete things are real and that God speaks and works through them. The transcendent is revealed through the physical.
20) Deeper wisdom about how God works through time and sin: that the universe is journeying towards perfection, that it has not yet arrived. To be patient and "stick with" the institutions God has created, (family, government, Church), even when they are not yet perfect. Our sin is not an obstacle to God accomplishing His purposes through what He has instituted.
21) Deeper understanding about both the beauty and limitations of human reasoning. On the one hand, it's a great gift that is meant to be engaged and challenged. It is also finite and flawed. Yet, it's limitations do not mean that it is "bad" or to be discarded. Reason ends up being like everything else in creation: we use it in faith, then leave the rest up to God, entrusting many mysteries about ourselves and others, and unknowns beyond our control, to Him.
22) The harmonization of eros and agape. Understanding that both desiring love and self-sacrificial love have their origin in the Trinity, therefore also a dignified place in human life.
23) A sense of time, and how to live as an infinite being in a finite world. Answer? The liturgical calendar. A time and a place for fasting, a time and a place for feasting. A time and a place for the various rituals of human life.
24) Jesus as Bridegroom. Seeing marriage as a sign of my relationship with God, such that I understand God as not only someone I am obedient to, but someone that my whole being and heart are destined for in a nuptial sense. In this way, religion engages not only my obedience, but my whole heart, which beats for romantic desire.
25) An understanding of relationships as being the most important thing, for God Himself is relational. To understand the greatest tragedies not in material terms, but in the sense of ruptured relationships. Understanding that I am fundamentally relational.
26) Wisdom on how to make sense of my emotions and how they are purposeful. A human anthropology that lets me think about everything that is going on "inside," and having vocabulary for it: passions, intellect, free will.
27) Greater integration of my whole self: I don't just worship in my head or sentiments, I worship with my body.
28) An integrated sense of history, wherein God has spoken consistently and purposefully to mankind from the very beginning. A way of understanding world events and empires as part of God's design to bring the world to Christ. Seeing God work through history in a stable way through His 2000 year old Catholic Church.
29) The ability to "offer up" my sufferings for others, so that I have a conscious participation in helping others through my suffering. The ability to help someone on the other end of the world through prayer and sacrifice.
30) The teaching on Original Sin helps me to make peace with my own incomprehensible complexity and understand why I have hurt myself and others, and why they have hurt me.
31) Healed relationship with my femininity. I can make peace with feeling less motivated by money and ambition, and understand why I have the need to focus on nurturing even though this offers less worldly compensation.
32) Greater respect for nature, and awareness that God works through natural processes. Increased respect for my human needs, including need for exercise, a balanced lifestyle, pleasure, and the reality that I have finite energy and can only learn things gradually, even spiritual things, which grow in tandem with natural development.
I'm sure there are more things.....
Without all of this healing, which I believe could only be totally achieved through my conversion to Catholicism, I was fundamentally alienated. I didn't know how to make sense of myself, my relationships, or the "big picture." It's not that all of my ideas about these things were flawed, it's just that they weren't anchored in something bigger and trustworthy beyond myself. It was just "my" idea. I wanted to know what God's ideas were. Only Catholicism taught that God Himself walked the earth and established a permanent Church that could impart His truths to mankind. Now, I can rest in knowing that the truth doesn't reside "in my head." It is something objective and historical, outside of myself.
1) The need to know that all things rest in the hands of a loving God
2) The need to know that suffering is meaningful
3) The need to know that life isn't random, but purposeful
4) The need to know that my life has a transcendent purpose
5) The need to "hand over the reins" to a competent higher power who can bring something good out of my weaknesses, sins, mistakes, and make up for all of the things I can't understand
6) Deep inner healing that capacitates me to truly care about others as much as myself
7) The regeneration of my desires, such that I can truly love what is good
8) Instruction that "puts it all together" so that I can understand how to harmonize seemingly contradictory goods (e.g. the goodness of both justice and mercy, physical pleasures and self-denial, healthy cultivating of the ego, the proper time and place for everything)
9) A new perspective that gives me joy in participating, instead of dominating and ascending
10) A spiritual renewal that helps me to enjoy life exactly as it is, given the inescapable realities of work, aging, and patiently enduring my own sinfulness and the sins of others
11) Deep communion with the transcendent, the "something" that is bigger than what I can articulate, but which I long for
12) Peace with the passage of time, so that I don't fear aging and death, but rather welcome the process of life
13) The ability to know myself and my purpose, which is hidden in God's Will. A sense of "vocation" and how I fit into the Body of Christ, so that I can objectively assess and cultivate my gifts, without competing with others.
14) A conscious answer to the question of what the purpose of life is, which encompasses the bewildering variety of goods that I see. A definition of ultimate good that is not reductive.
15) Help identifying and taming the vices that lurk deep within me, beneath the level of conscious drives
16) Freedom from needing things to be a certain way for me to be happy or content, or to believe that my life has value
17) By the grace of God, the healing of my various family relationships: immediate, extended, parochial, neighborhood, patriotic, universal brotherhood of man, participation in the Body of Christ
18) Healing my relationship with my body. Harmonizing the peculiarity of being spiritual and physical.
19) Healing my sense of "reality" and what it is: e.g. not living in my head only. Understanding that physical, concrete things are real and that God speaks and works through them. The transcendent is revealed through the physical.
20) Deeper wisdom about how God works through time and sin: that the universe is journeying towards perfection, that it has not yet arrived. To be patient and "stick with" the institutions God has created, (family, government, Church), even when they are not yet perfect. Our sin is not an obstacle to God accomplishing His purposes through what He has instituted.
21) Deeper understanding about both the beauty and limitations of human reasoning. On the one hand, it's a great gift that is meant to be engaged and challenged. It is also finite and flawed. Yet, it's limitations do not mean that it is "bad" or to be discarded. Reason ends up being like everything else in creation: we use it in faith, then leave the rest up to God, entrusting many mysteries about ourselves and others, and unknowns beyond our control, to Him.
22) The harmonization of eros and agape. Understanding that both desiring love and self-sacrificial love have their origin in the Trinity, therefore also a dignified place in human life.
23) A sense of time, and how to live as an infinite being in a finite world. Answer? The liturgical calendar. A time and a place for fasting, a time and a place for feasting. A time and a place for the various rituals of human life.
24) Jesus as Bridegroom. Seeing marriage as a sign of my relationship with God, such that I understand God as not only someone I am obedient to, but someone that my whole being and heart are destined for in a nuptial sense. In this way, religion engages not only my obedience, but my whole heart, which beats for romantic desire.
25) An understanding of relationships as being the most important thing, for God Himself is relational. To understand the greatest tragedies not in material terms, but in the sense of ruptured relationships. Understanding that I am fundamentally relational.
26) Wisdom on how to make sense of my emotions and how they are purposeful. A human anthropology that lets me think about everything that is going on "inside," and having vocabulary for it: passions, intellect, free will.
27) Greater integration of my whole self: I don't just worship in my head or sentiments, I worship with my body.
28) An integrated sense of history, wherein God has spoken consistently and purposefully to mankind from the very beginning. A way of understanding world events and empires as part of God's design to bring the world to Christ. Seeing God work through history in a stable way through His 2000 year old Catholic Church.
29) The ability to "offer up" my sufferings for others, so that I have a conscious participation in helping others through my suffering. The ability to help someone on the other end of the world through prayer and sacrifice.
30) The teaching on Original Sin helps me to make peace with my own incomprehensible complexity and understand why I have hurt myself and others, and why they have hurt me.
31) Healed relationship with my femininity. I can make peace with feeling less motivated by money and ambition, and understand why I have the need to focus on nurturing even though this offers less worldly compensation.
32) Greater respect for nature, and awareness that God works through natural processes. Increased respect for my human needs, including need for exercise, a balanced lifestyle, pleasure, and the reality that I have finite energy and can only learn things gradually, even spiritual things, which grow in tandem with natural development.
I'm sure there are more things.....
Without all of this healing, which I believe could only be totally achieved through my conversion to Catholicism, I was fundamentally alienated. I didn't know how to make sense of myself, my relationships, or the "big picture." It's not that all of my ideas about these things were flawed, it's just that they weren't anchored in something bigger and trustworthy beyond myself. It was just "my" idea. I wanted to know what God's ideas were. Only Catholicism taught that God Himself walked the earth and established a permanent Church that could impart His truths to mankind. Now, I can rest in knowing that the truth doesn't reside "in my head." It is something objective and historical, outside of myself.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Meditation ~ Layers of Family
It's hard to understand what Trinitarian life looks like, and that's why God created family. Family is all about a communion of persons who share life together.
Of course, there's our immediate family, but then also extended family, neighbors, colleagues, friends, those who share our ethnicity and/or citizenship. For Catholics, there's membership in the parish and the universal Church (militant, suffering, and triumphant!)
I believe that a life in the Spirit is a life of ever deepening familial relationships. To grow in the Spirit is to grow in intimacy with the Trinity, the family to whom all families point. From that relationship flows a love of every other family in which we participate. God helps us associate definitive happiness with happy relationships. This is to be distinguished from merely being social. Rather, it's about meaningfully giving up ourselves for others, and them doing so for us. If love isn't costly, it isn't really love.
When St. John describes lust of the flesh, eyes, and pride of life, he enumerates the three primary drives that break up families: desire for unmitigated pleasure, wealth, and/or achievement. In contrast, family living creates an ecosystem wherein each person has their own duties and privileges. The family "works" because each person does their role well for the good of all the others.
Typical in the breakdown of families is for leaders to exploit their power, or for those with less authority to envy those in power. Leaders must exercise their power for the good of all. Subordinates must understand that through the leadership of one, the many are served.
Successful living could be defined in terms of successful participation in family life: rightly understanding my duties and doing them, rightly understanding my privileges and enjoying them. We love those we serve, and also those who serve us. The combination of duties and privileges creates interdependency and the deep, purposeful relationships we crave.
Of course, there's our immediate family, but then also extended family, neighbors, colleagues, friends, those who share our ethnicity and/or citizenship. For Catholics, there's membership in the parish and the universal Church (militant, suffering, and triumphant!)
I believe that a life in the Spirit is a life of ever deepening familial relationships. To grow in the Spirit is to grow in intimacy with the Trinity, the family to whom all families point. From that relationship flows a love of every other family in which we participate. God helps us associate definitive happiness with happy relationships. This is to be distinguished from merely being social. Rather, it's about meaningfully giving up ourselves for others, and them doing so for us. If love isn't costly, it isn't really love.
When St. John describes lust of the flesh, eyes, and pride of life, he enumerates the three primary drives that break up families: desire for unmitigated pleasure, wealth, and/or achievement. In contrast, family living creates an ecosystem wherein each person has their own duties and privileges. The family "works" because each person does their role well for the good of all the others.
Typical in the breakdown of families is for leaders to exploit their power, or for those with less authority to envy those in power. Leaders must exercise their power for the good of all. Subordinates must understand that through the leadership of one, the many are served.
Successful living could be defined in terms of successful participation in family life: rightly understanding my duties and doing them, rightly understanding my privileges and enjoying them. We love those we serve, and also those who serve us. The combination of duties and privileges creates interdependency and the deep, purposeful relationships we crave.
Monday, July 1, 2019
Meditation ~ New Changes Post Conversion
I've felt God guiding me to live in greater peace and peace. The following are specific changes that have occurred over the past four years since my baptism.
1) A new relationship with time.
The Liturgical Calendar has helped me develop a "time and place" mentality not only for my devotional life, but also for life in general. There's a time when I check my email and respond to texts; a time when I run by this or that store, a time when I write, a time when I drink wine and read poetry. When everything has a time and place, life just flows better. I also find myself cultivating and appreciating the variety of life. Knowing that everything has a time and place helps me to relax when I work; for relaxation is on the horizon.
A steady flow of activities enables skills to build. A regular prayer routine builds into thousands of prayers said for a particular intention. Regularity with that weekly wine/poetry date means many poems read; a personal goal to better appreciate poetry is met. The passing of time becomes purposeful, not something to be dreaded. It becomes a pleasure to watch things build.
2) A new identification of fulfillment with relational living.
Pre-conversion, coming from a Mormon (non-Trinitarian) viewpoint, I would have said that the most important thing in life is obeying God, doing the work He asks you to do, and being all that He made you to be. Then, at the end of all the toiling, would be a heavenly harvest of various achievement (eternal marriage, exaltation, superior knowledge and virtue).
As a Catholic, I understand that holiness is not fundamentally about achieving things, even in the eternal sense. What makes Heaven amazing is not all the things I accumulate and achieve as a result of my righteousness. What makes Heaven amazing is enjoying the deepest fulfillment of my relationship with God and others.
God is not solitary. He's a communion of persons. My joy is entering into that, and enjoying that relationship with all the other saints. Definitive joy means living relationally. Hell is isolation.
Personal holiness and achievement are wonderful, but not apart from charity. Apart from charity, these things are just one of many dead end false idols we can bow down to. As dead ends go, they are harder to spot than the dead ends of addiction, lust, wealth. Under the guise of "getting good grades" and "achieving at extracurriculars," we can begin to worship achievement for the sake of achievement. This is the false idol I used to worship, without even realizing I was doing it. I thought I was achieving lots of things for God.
As a Catholic, I encountered the Triune God and knew Him as God. A new north star was planted in my heart. Until we are regenerated in baptism and mature in our discernment, our true vocation can be inscrutable to us, buried beneath layers of self-worship, false worship, and ignorance.
3) A more specific and narrow definition of self, which enables participation in the Body of Christ
To be everything is to be nothing. You aren't something unless you're not something else. Pre-conversion, I tried to be everything to everyone. I believed there was a "right" way of living that somehow covered all the basis. I looked at the world around me and saw so many amazing things worth achieving and being. I wanted to be everything and possess every skill and excellence.
The problem with this line of thinking is that, first of all, it's impossible. We are all gifted by God to be something, and not something else. There are only 24 hrs in a day. We are not living in reality until we cultivate our strengths and accept our limitations.
Further, this worldview leaves no room for community. Why "come together" with others, if you already possess all the gifts? A realizing of "needing" the gifts and strengths of others, is the primary incentive for reaching out beyond yourself and forming relationships.
The longer I live as a Catholic, the more content I am to live within my niche. I realize that not only does this keep my life orderly, but it incentivizes me to reach out beyond myself and keeps me humble. My niche is indeed little. What a relief it is that holiness consists in living out this littleness with love and devotion.
4) Everything is a path to God
A Catholic, sacramental worldview now explains why my Sunday glass of wine is a path to experiencing God. There are no longer "religious" things, and "non-religious "things. It's all religious! Everything has spiritual significance. This further helps me to find a time and place for everything. It's all important and all of creation has dignity, and I deeply need creation, which reveals God.
5) The Cross
In most non-Catholic Christian churches, crosses are less visible and the idea of redemptive suffering in union with Christ is not taught. Suffice it to say that the concept of "offering it up" is life changing. Suffering is never experienced in the same way again. One can definitively make peace with suffering.
6) Heaven is Now
When we understand that Heaven is fundamentally about experiencing the Trinity, then we understand how it is possible to experience Heaven now. I now focus on cultivating happiness in a way that I never did before. If I'm not joyful, I think first about a potential discipleship problem, instead of focusing on a temporal problem.
7) A more romantic worldview
It truly gives one cause for pause to realize that sexuality and family life point to God Himself, and His inner Triune life. The Song of Songs is an amusing stumbling block placed in the Bible, lest we ever become too puritanical in our thinking. Sexuality is elevated from a mere natural pleasure to something divine. If sexuality is divine, then passion and desire are also elevated to something supernatural. We are destined for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb. Temporal marriage points to the marriage of the Church and Christ. The gospel is all about marriage and love. We fall in love with God and are married to Him forever.
After meditating upon this for some time, I've been inspired to be more receptive, passionate, desiring, and relational. I'm more quick to condemn emotions and attitudes in me that "close me off" from God and others. No one wants to marry or date someone who's cold and stiff. In order to be romantic in the natural sense, we have to be able to fall in love. We need to be able to be in the moment, have a sense of humor, a healthy appreciation of pleasure, and enjoyment of life and the other is required. God wants us to mature our in our ability to do these things, not only with our temporal spouse, but with Him.
1) A new relationship with time.
The Liturgical Calendar has helped me develop a "time and place" mentality not only for my devotional life, but also for life in general. There's a time when I check my email and respond to texts; a time when I run by this or that store, a time when I write, a time when I drink wine and read poetry. When everything has a time and place, life just flows better. I also find myself cultivating and appreciating the variety of life. Knowing that everything has a time and place helps me to relax when I work; for relaxation is on the horizon.
A steady flow of activities enables skills to build. A regular prayer routine builds into thousands of prayers said for a particular intention. Regularity with that weekly wine/poetry date means many poems read; a personal goal to better appreciate poetry is met. The passing of time becomes purposeful, not something to be dreaded. It becomes a pleasure to watch things build.
2) A new identification of fulfillment with relational living.
Pre-conversion, coming from a Mormon (non-Trinitarian) viewpoint, I would have said that the most important thing in life is obeying God, doing the work He asks you to do, and being all that He made you to be. Then, at the end of all the toiling, would be a heavenly harvest of various achievement (eternal marriage, exaltation, superior knowledge and virtue).
As a Catholic, I understand that holiness is not fundamentally about achieving things, even in the eternal sense. What makes Heaven amazing is not all the things I accumulate and achieve as a result of my righteousness. What makes Heaven amazing is enjoying the deepest fulfillment of my relationship with God and others.
God is not solitary. He's a communion of persons. My joy is entering into that, and enjoying that relationship with all the other saints. Definitive joy means living relationally. Hell is isolation.
Personal holiness and achievement are wonderful, but not apart from charity. Apart from charity, these things are just one of many dead end false idols we can bow down to. As dead ends go, they are harder to spot than the dead ends of addiction, lust, wealth. Under the guise of "getting good grades" and "achieving at extracurriculars," we can begin to worship achievement for the sake of achievement. This is the false idol I used to worship, without even realizing I was doing it. I thought I was achieving lots of things for God.
As a Catholic, I encountered the Triune God and knew Him as God. A new north star was planted in my heart. Until we are regenerated in baptism and mature in our discernment, our true vocation can be inscrutable to us, buried beneath layers of self-worship, false worship, and ignorance.
3) A more specific and narrow definition of self, which enables participation in the Body of Christ
To be everything is to be nothing. You aren't something unless you're not something else. Pre-conversion, I tried to be everything to everyone. I believed there was a "right" way of living that somehow covered all the basis. I looked at the world around me and saw so many amazing things worth achieving and being. I wanted to be everything and possess every skill and excellence.
The problem with this line of thinking is that, first of all, it's impossible. We are all gifted by God to be something, and not something else. There are only 24 hrs in a day. We are not living in reality until we cultivate our strengths and accept our limitations.
Further, this worldview leaves no room for community. Why "come together" with others, if you already possess all the gifts? A realizing of "needing" the gifts and strengths of others, is the primary incentive for reaching out beyond yourself and forming relationships.
The longer I live as a Catholic, the more content I am to live within my niche. I realize that not only does this keep my life orderly, but it incentivizes me to reach out beyond myself and keeps me humble. My niche is indeed little. What a relief it is that holiness consists in living out this littleness with love and devotion.
4) Everything is a path to God
A Catholic, sacramental worldview now explains why my Sunday glass of wine is a path to experiencing God. There are no longer "religious" things, and "non-religious "things. It's all religious! Everything has spiritual significance. This further helps me to find a time and place for everything. It's all important and all of creation has dignity, and I deeply need creation, which reveals God.
5) The Cross
In most non-Catholic Christian churches, crosses are less visible and the idea of redemptive suffering in union with Christ is not taught. Suffice it to say that the concept of "offering it up" is life changing. Suffering is never experienced in the same way again. One can definitively make peace with suffering.
6) Heaven is Now
When we understand that Heaven is fundamentally about experiencing the Trinity, then we understand how it is possible to experience Heaven now. I now focus on cultivating happiness in a way that I never did before. If I'm not joyful, I think first about a potential discipleship problem, instead of focusing on a temporal problem.
7) A more romantic worldview
It truly gives one cause for pause to realize that sexuality and family life point to God Himself, and His inner Triune life. The Song of Songs is an amusing stumbling block placed in the Bible, lest we ever become too puritanical in our thinking. Sexuality is elevated from a mere natural pleasure to something divine. If sexuality is divine, then passion and desire are also elevated to something supernatural. We are destined for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb. Temporal marriage points to the marriage of the Church and Christ. The gospel is all about marriage and love. We fall in love with God and are married to Him forever.
After meditating upon this for some time, I've been inspired to be more receptive, passionate, desiring, and relational. I'm more quick to condemn emotions and attitudes in me that "close me off" from God and others. No one wants to marry or date someone who's cold and stiff. In order to be romantic in the natural sense, we have to be able to fall in love. We need to be able to be in the moment, have a sense of humor, a healthy appreciation of pleasure, and enjoyment of life and the other is required. God wants us to mature our in our ability to do these things, not only with our temporal spouse, but with Him.
Meditation ~ Being in Heaven Now
Someday when/if I'm a mom, what will be the most important gift to give my children? At this point in my spiritual development, I would say participation in the Trinitarian life. I want my kids to understand that their deepest desires for love, thrills, and connection can be satisfied. I want them to experience a satiation of their deepest desires, insofar as that is possible this side of Heaven, and to identity that satiation with God Himself. Religion is not about "being good," where self-denial is an end in itself. It's about cultivating and satisfying our deepest desires.
As Catholics, we understand participation in the Triune Life to be the essence of Heaven, and the principle of sanctification. The Holy Trinity is poured into us at baptism, and our participation in God will continue to deepen and mature as long as we are receptive to Him.
I phrase things in terms of "The Triune Life," instead of a "relationship with Jesus," or "getting to Heaven," because I think the connotation of the former helps us best grasp "the big picture."
Having a "relationship with Jesus" and "getting to Heaven," are obviously crucial goals. However, the former puts an emphasis on Jesus's atoning sacrifice, which we must remember is a (most necessary) means to an end. Jesus died for us so that we could experience Eternal Life within the Trinity, not only in the future, but now. Are our lives bursting with fruits of the Spirit? Are we in Heaven right now? It's possible to be intellectually obedient to the idea of Jesus, to accept Him as our Savior, to attend mass, fear Hell, and obey the precepts of the Church, without overflowing with spiritual fruits. The question is whether or not Eternal Life characterizes the quality of our lives here, and now. Sometimes we need to think beyond the cross itself--to the promised land we enter via the cross--to cultivate Heaven on Earth.
"Getting to Heaven," is a necessary expression. Yet sometimes it has a laborious connotation. We are not only journeying to Heaven; done rightly, we are already in Heaven, as we journey towards it definitively. Are we experiencing Heaven now? If we're not, there are likely problems in our discipleship. Perhaps we're focusing too much on externals, not enough on our internal state.
Do we know how to recognize the presence of God in our lives, and abide in it? We can't see God with our physical eyes; can we see Him with the eyes of the heart? Do we desire God with our whole being and experience the fulfillment of that desire?
As Catholics, we understand participation in the Triune Life to be the essence of Heaven, and the principle of sanctification. The Holy Trinity is poured into us at baptism, and our participation in God will continue to deepen and mature as long as we are receptive to Him.
I phrase things in terms of "The Triune Life," instead of a "relationship with Jesus," or "getting to Heaven," because I think the connotation of the former helps us best grasp "the big picture."
Having a "relationship with Jesus" and "getting to Heaven," are obviously crucial goals. However, the former puts an emphasis on Jesus's atoning sacrifice, which we must remember is a (most necessary) means to an end. Jesus died for us so that we could experience Eternal Life within the Trinity, not only in the future, but now. Are our lives bursting with fruits of the Spirit? Are we in Heaven right now? It's possible to be intellectually obedient to the idea of Jesus, to accept Him as our Savior, to attend mass, fear Hell, and obey the precepts of the Church, without overflowing with spiritual fruits. The question is whether or not Eternal Life characterizes the quality of our lives here, and now. Sometimes we need to think beyond the cross itself--to the promised land we enter via the cross--to cultivate Heaven on Earth.
"Getting to Heaven," is a necessary expression. Yet sometimes it has a laborious connotation. We are not only journeying to Heaven; done rightly, we are already in Heaven, as we journey towards it definitively. Are we experiencing Heaven now? If we're not, there are likely problems in our discipleship. Perhaps we're focusing too much on externals, not enough on our internal state.
Do we know how to recognize the presence of God in our lives, and abide in it? We can't see God with our physical eyes; can we see Him with the eyes of the heart? Do we desire God with our whole being and experience the fulfillment of that desire?
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