I've felt God guiding me to live in greater peace and peace. The following are specific changes that have occurred over the past four years since my baptism.
1) A new relationship with time.
The Liturgical Calendar has helped me develop a "time and place" mentality not only for my devotional life, but also for life in general. There's a time when I check my email and respond to texts; a time when I run by this or that store, a time when I write, a time when I drink wine and read poetry. When everything has a time and place, life just flows better. I also find myself cultivating and appreciating the variety of life. Knowing that everything has a time and place helps me to relax when I work; for relaxation is on the horizon.
A steady flow of activities enables skills to build. A regular prayer routine builds into thousands of prayers said for a particular intention. Regularity with that weekly wine/poetry date means many poems read; a personal goal to better appreciate poetry is met. The passing of time becomes purposeful, not something to be dreaded. It becomes a pleasure to watch things build.
2) A new identification of fulfillment with relational living.
Pre-conversion, coming from a Mormon (non-Trinitarian) viewpoint, I would have said that the most important thing in life is obeying God, doing the work He asks you to do, and being all that He made you to be. Then, at the end of all the toiling, would be a heavenly harvest of various achievement (eternal marriage, exaltation, superior knowledge and virtue).
As a Catholic, I understand that holiness is not fundamentally about achieving things, even in the eternal sense. What makes Heaven amazing is not all the things I accumulate and achieve as a result of my righteousness. What makes Heaven amazing is enjoying the deepest fulfillment of my relationship with God and others.
God is not solitary. He's a communion of persons. My joy is entering into that, and enjoying that relationship with all the other saints. Definitive joy means living relationally. Hell is isolation.
Personal holiness and achievement are wonderful, but not apart from charity. Apart from charity, these things are just one of many dead end false idols we can bow down to. As dead ends go, they are harder to spot than the dead ends of addiction, lust, wealth. Under the guise of "getting good grades" and "achieving at extracurriculars," we can begin to worship achievement for the sake of achievement. This is the false idol I used to worship, without even realizing I was doing it. I thought I was achieving lots of things for God.
As a Catholic, I encountered the Triune God and knew Him as God. A new north star was planted in my heart. Until we are regenerated in baptism and mature in our discernment, our true vocation can be inscrutable to us, buried beneath layers of self-worship, false worship, and ignorance.
3) A more specific and narrow definition of self, which enables participation in the Body of Christ
To be everything is to be nothing. You aren't something unless you're not something else. Pre-conversion, I tried to be everything to everyone. I believed there was a "right" way of living that somehow covered all the basis. I looked at the world around me and saw so many amazing things worth achieving and being. I wanted to be everything and possess every skill and excellence.
The problem with this line of thinking is that, first of all, it's impossible. We are all gifted by God to be something, and not something else. There are only 24 hrs in a day. We are not living in reality until we cultivate our strengths and accept our limitations.
Further, this worldview leaves no room for community. Why "come together" with others, if you already possess all the gifts? A realizing of "needing" the gifts and strengths of others, is the primary incentive for reaching out beyond yourself and forming relationships.
The longer I live as a Catholic, the more content I am to live within my niche. I realize that not only does this keep my life orderly, but it incentivizes me to reach out beyond myself and keeps me humble. My niche is indeed little. What a relief it is that holiness consists in living out this littleness with love and devotion.
4) Everything is a path to God
A Catholic, sacramental worldview now explains why my Sunday glass of wine is a path to experiencing God. There are no longer "religious" things, and "non-religious "things. It's all religious! Everything has spiritual significance. This further helps me to find a time and place for everything. It's all important and all of creation has dignity, and I deeply need creation, which reveals God.
5) The Cross
In most non-Catholic Christian churches, crosses are less visible and the idea of redemptive suffering in union with Christ is not taught. Suffice it to say that the concept of "offering it up" is life changing. Suffering is never experienced in the same way again. One can definitively make peace with suffering.
6) Heaven is Now
When we understand that Heaven is fundamentally about experiencing the Trinity, then we understand how it is possible to experience Heaven now. I now focus on cultivating happiness in a way that I never did before. If I'm not joyful, I think first about a potential discipleship problem, instead of focusing on a temporal problem.
7) A more romantic worldview
It truly gives one cause for pause to realize that sexuality and family life point to God Himself, and His inner Triune life. The Song of Songs is an amusing stumbling block placed in the Bible, lest we ever become too puritanical in our thinking. Sexuality is elevated from a mere natural pleasure to something divine. If sexuality is divine, then passion and desire are also elevated to something supernatural. We are destined for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb. Temporal marriage points to the marriage of the Church and Christ. The gospel is all about marriage and love. We fall in love with God and are married to Him forever.
After meditating upon this for some time, I've been inspired to be more receptive, passionate, desiring, and relational. I'm more quick to condemn emotions and attitudes in me that "close me off" from God and others. No one wants to marry or date someone who's cold and stiff. In order to be romantic in the natural sense, we have to be able to fall in love. We need to be able to be in the moment, have a sense of humor, a healthy appreciation of pleasure, and enjoyment of life and the other is required. God wants us to mature our in our ability to do these things, not only with our temporal spouse, but with Him.
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