When I first learned about the Catholic concept of "detachment," I saw it only in terms of God purging us of selfishness.
Of course, selfishness is a huge obstacle to our being happy and living the divine law. Indeed, this is an important reason why we need suffering (and detachment).
However, the idea of God being one's all-in-all, no longer has the bleak overtones it once used to. I now understand that only by delighting in God as one's all-in-all, is a spousal union with God achieved. This spousal union is our soul's deepest desire.
Insofar as we elevate other things above God, our spousal union with Him is hindered. I think of married couples who share the same roof over their heads, but are not truly "one flesh." Their relationship lacks a meaningful sense of two-becoming-one, a one-ness which is only achieved by radical self-gift.
It is the same with God.
We will only achieve a deep, "one flesh" union with Him when we relate to Him in a radical, self-giving, spousal way.
This leads us to the gospel paradox of losing all to find all.
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